Prince or Poser? How to ID an Authentic Profile

9 Sept 2008

We’ve all met that certain someone. You know the guy or gal who just seemed absolutely perfect for us…maybe too perfect. Fact is, when you have the security of a phone between you and that someone special, some daters might be tempted to embellish or outright exaggerate their appearance, personality, lifestyle or career.

Now, some people actually do see themselves differently than what they physically and emotionally portray in person. Other folks just can’t resist the temptation to work in a little white lie here and there. When it comes to making the call between fact and fiction, there are some tell-tale signs to help you read between the lines of a phone chat profile .

The Perfect Specimen : The voice recording for this would-be date might sound something like “I’m a 6”1, 190 pound, blond hair, blue-eyed male with an athletic build seeking woman of the same. I don’t have any problem finding a date . In fact, I get hit on just about every day. It’s exhausting. I’m looking for my soul mate who will appreciate me for me.” Ok gals, who is this guy? He’s actually shared nothing with you. And without a picture to back up his Brad Pitt description, you’ve got to be left wondering. Plus, any chat profile recording that spends this much time highlighting his attributes is a red flag that he may be just a little narcissistic.

Great Job, Great Life : This recording is likely to blow you away. You’ll hardly believe your luck in finding this tempting tidbit. Not only is he the CEO of his own firm, but on weekends, he’s just dying to jet-off to Paris for some fine French fare with a lucky lady. Ok, it’s unlikely any profile would paint such an over-the-top picture of a would-be date’s life, but do be skeptical of careers and lifestyles that sound like an except from Lifestyle of the Rich and Famous. Until you chat with this date , and get a feel for the authenticity of his profile, take this one with a large grain of salt.

You Should Be So Lucky : Her profile might allude to her Playboy measurements, Nigella Lawson-like flare in the kitchen and her passion for all your favourite sports. You might even feel like you’ve just met your dream girl . Problem is…she’s probably just a figment of her own imagination. Uhm, yeah, ‘cause how many guys wouldn’t want to date this gal? Here’s the deal: she may actually believe she’s this goddess of a woman. However, the reality might not measure up to the fantasy she’s created.

What They Say, What They Mean : The profile of this dater might emphasize their need for a serious, long-term relationship . But in the next breath will outline their hectic BlackBerry dictated schedule. If you read between the lines on this one, this workaholic or social bee may think they’re looking for a long time love , but what their profile is actually communicating is the need to fit their date into an already crammed life. In other words, this date may have all the best intentions in the world, but a long-term relationship just isn’t in the cards. Make sure you chalk this one up to a casual date opportunity .

Finding the One : The profile of this dater will talk about meeting “ the one .” Now, this alone isn’t a red flag. But, if this dater elaborates about who the one is, right down to their supermodel looks and Mother Theresa demeanor, you may realize living up to their ideal of the “perfect match” is far from realistic. In reality, this would-be date needs to tune into reality before he/she could ever get turned on by you.

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Minding Your P’s & Q’s on Chat

2 Sept 2008

Make sure you listen as much as you talk. Resist the temptation to spill any dirty details about your ex. Don’t dive into dinner until both your meals have been served. Pretty simple, huh? That’s because these everyday examples of real-world dating etiquette are so common they’re like breathing for most of us. But how does dating etiquette translate into making the right impression when you record a phone chat message? Check out our top tips below…

Cheat Sheet : Feeling a little nervous about leaving your inaugural voice recording ? Relieve the pressure with a handy cheat sheet. Simply jot down some easy-to-remember notes to help avoid any awkward silences.

The Basic 411 : Your message should capture the basics. Share details like your general build (slim, couple of extra pounds); hair colour; the kind of relationship you want (casual dating, relationship intimate encounter etc.) and work in a little quip that captures your best features (e.g. your sense of humour).

Wants, Needs & More : Go ahead, talk about what you want. In general terms. Share some basic information about yourself, but hold back on divulging any deep dark secrets. This might be a good time to share your top three “must have” relationship or dating criteria . For example, if a pet is a potential deal-breaker, now might be a good time to work it into the conversation.

Dirty Talk : Unless you’re after an intimate encounter or prefer a ride on the wild side , it’s probably best to keep your frilly little verbal nothings safely stored in your subconscious. We’re all for spicing things up, but early phone chat etiquette reveals it best to keep dirty talk to a minimum.

Me, Myself & I : Remember the goal is to learn more about your would-be date . If you feel like you’re revealing too much or that your voice recording could lead to more of a monologue than a dialogue, refer to that handy cheat sheet.

Mumblers & Low Talkers : How frustrating would it be to get a message from a would-be date that you need an interpreter to dissect? Even if you’re the next hottest thing , a hard-to-understand recording will take the sizzle out of the spicy you instantly. Remember to speak clearly and calmly. Take the time to review your recording .

All Talk, No Action : You’re probably thinking—“I’m making a voice recording where’s the action in that?” Here’s the deal: instead of talking about how laid back your lifestyle is or waxing poetic about your passion for running…work in a quick story that makes this point. For example, you could talk about your Saturday morning newspaper & coffee routine. Or share all the details about your latest race.